Aggressive by Default? Questioning Violence in Recreational Sports

She held the clump of hair triumphantly above her head while coaches, team mates, and fans clapped and laughed in enjoyment. A trophy unlike any other wrapped around her fingers...

This was during the middle, and consequently end, of my women's open league soccer match on Sunday afternoon in West Seattle. A predominantly Mexican league, I've seen more fans and family come to these soccer games than I ever had at my division 3 college matches back in PA. The crowd plays a particular part in this event, which is why I bring them up. This was my third game on this team and the parents and friends here create a fun atmosphere. Our first two matches were blow outs...we won by a minimum of 4 goals each game. I was brought in by a friend to make the team more competitive and I agreed to join, even though I already play in an indoor league Sunday nights. I figured more exercise, practice...I don't really understand what the coach is saying because he coaches in Spanish, but the girls translate for me and the other one or two non-Spanish speaking players. It's been fun and I always enjoy playing more soccer.

Before I left last week, I was told that the team we would play this week would be a challenge. Definitely more skilled and more aggressive...I didn't think much of it. We had just picked up a new keeper, a sweeper, and a center who controls the ball with ease. Unfortunately for us, the center got the flu, the sweeper sprained her ankle, and the keeper would have to pass. The center happens to double for every position on the field, so she took her sick self and put on a goalkeeper's jersey. For this match, at her request, I would play sweeper (the sweeper is the last defensive player back).

And so the game started. These girls were definitely more aggressive than previous teams. Ranging from ages 18 - 35, most of the team was young with minimal skill, but with 2 or 3 decent players. I took a rather tough (and what I would call a foul but the referee chose otherwise) and angry push within the first few minutes of the game and decided it would be in my best interest to play a little smarter than I had. The BS's (the initials of their team name, of course) as well as our team (the TN's), appeared to be talkative at times. There were a few fouls and hard hits on both sides - but not to the point where I was worried. I've been playing 20+ years and I've seen quite a few disputes. But going into halftime with a 0-0 score, I wasn't feeling like something bad was going to happen.

On the contrary, I was too busy getting translated at half time to the team on what "goal side" meant to really take notice of any side conversations or trash talking. So we started the 2nd half - and we started really well. We were pushing up, having less attacks on the defense (i.e. me). A few more elbows or shoves didn't really matter if the ball didn't end up in our goal. I did have a minor altercation with my own team mate...we had a difference of opinion of what an outside midfielder was supposed to do. After some words between us, the coach made a quick decision and moved her up to forward. Believe it or not, this is where the issue started. Seems she wanted to score, badly, by going through the opposite team. Forcefully. This starts the first issue.

* Please note that as the sweeper, I'm standing at the center circle where the kick off occurs. This fight is going to take place around the corner of the 18 yd box closest to my bench. It's a good 30 yds away.*

I saw her ejection coming. Most people don't argue with the sweeper. If a sweeper says run - you run. If they say come back and cover - you do so. A sweeper has complete vision of the field, they usually know best...so when she argued with me on coming back, I figured she may have a teensy attitude problem. And she did. After a foul was called against her for attempting to kick through the opposing team, words were spoken rather loudly and the next thing I know, she's throwing punches. The other girl threw a punch or two for good measure, but by now the referee had come and thrown 2 red cards at both of them.

This should have been the end of argument. There must have been something I missed during the game...something my team mate had said or done that made the next strike the breaking point. Or maybe not. Fresh from being carded and mad as hell, my team mate is being mostly pulled off by one of our girl's - A. As A is pulling mouthy girl off the field, the other team is still shouting at them and staying rather close. As the referee turns away to make sure the opposing team's red carded girl gets off the field, a slap or push of some sort happens behind his back towards my team mates. At 21, I probably/possibly would have done what A did, which was turn around and swing back. At 28, eh...I don't want to get in a cat fight. Unfortunately what was about to come was definitely not a cat fight. As soon as A turned and took a swing at the girl, the forward from the BS's (who was probably only 5-8 yds away from me and had been watching the whole time) made a B line for A and proceeded to whale on her.

At first, I found it surreal. My older brother once did that in a high school game. His friend was playing forward while he was playing sweeper. He saw his friend get slide tackled intentionally and the kid who did it got a yellow card. However, my brother felt that was not enough justice and proceeded to run 30 yds and punch the kid in the face...he was 18. It was stupid. I saw that girl sprint toward the fight and thought, "wow, she's stupid". The difference is my game is a recreational game with one referee. I don't remember the ref blowing his whistle uncontrollably when this fight occurred. I don't remember the referee at all, to be honest, and that's sad. Where the hell was the referee??? As I watched this unfold 20 yards in front of me, the other team's bench came on the field. I thought they were attempting to pull the girls off one another. I mentioned earlier, this league is a family affair. It would make sense. But no, what I saw next shocked me into disbelief. They weren't helping the situation, they were aiding in the assault.

I watched a good 20 seconds before it finally seeped in that these parents, coaches and friends, both male and female, were jumping and kicking my team mate on the ground. My team's parents and coaches were pulling smaller fights apart, trying desperately to get to the middle but consistently running into fists, kicks, and aggression. When I finally made my way around the outside, I saw a woman, probably in her 40's, kicking and stepping on the back of my team mate. I grabbed her from behind and pulled her off screaming, "What are you doing? What's wrong with you?" GET OFF THE FIELD! I forget how high my voice gets when I'm upset. I started yelling at the crowd in my own personal hysteria to get the f*kc off the field. I finally got to the middle and pulled off the sister of A who began screaming at me that that was her sister down there. I tried to explain while pulling her up that all I saw was her on the ground getting kicked, as well, and by the time we turned around, A had made it off the field and her attacker, the small forward who booked it across the field to start the fight, had her hand high above her head, waving around A's hair like a prize, to what seemed like entertainment to her fans.

I haven't slept well the past two nights. In my head, I replay the event with different scenarios. What if one of the times I knocked down (legally, mind you) that small forward and she retaliated against me? Her father was the coach, one of the men who made it a point to hit A - what if that mob came for me? Or what if once I saw that forward running to join the fight, I pulled her up short. It doesn't do well to dwell, I know. But there was something about this fight, the way it went down, and the outcome. Why would that girl be proud about ripping out someone's hair? She missed an open shot. Her team didn't win. They're more likely to be removed from the league due to the police report that was issued. I can't make sense of it and that's probably why it makes me so anxious.

Violence off and on the field has been reported for years now. Parents at pee wee football and hockey matches, fans getting in fights at professional sporting events. Hell, hooligans in soccer are well noted across the world...not so much in the USA, but most other countries. What drives us to the point of violence? What makes a game turn into a brawl? We're supposed to be civilized, right? There are rules to the game to keep everyone in line - so what is it that makes us so ugly? What draws the spectator so passionately into the sport?

If you google "violence in youth sports", hundreds of articles come up. It occurs - sometimes less than reported, sometimes more - in all types of events with all types of people. There are studies about youth sports making children poor sports, parents becoming too obsessive and fanatical, officials not doing enough to restrict the amount of fouls in the game. There are quite a lot of issues in something that was created for children to be fun. Wasn't it? Sport historically wasn't necessarily for fun, but for honor and sometimes survival. So does our aggression come from a primitive spot in our brains that holds on to the instinct to win at all cost?

Truthfully, I don't know. I'm sure there are psychological studies done that can be googled, as well. What I do know is what I witnessed on Sunday, February 20th, 2011, was an ugliness that people have to do harm onto others when retaliation isn't necessary. The team mate who threw the first punch was wrong. The girl who retaliated was wrong, as well. A, trying to walk the team mate off the field should have jogged away from the pushing, or yelled for the referee to turn. She should not have tried to punch or push the girl back. And the stupid girl - the one who ran 20 yards to brawl - was the worst of them all. All she did was advocate for violence on a pitch made for goals and passes and teamwork. She may feel victorious in her battle against an opponent. She may win the cheers of a psychologically unstable crowd. But she lost a piece of the game I'm sure she loved. She definitely lost a sense of self and the knowledge between right and wrong. Sadly, I doubt she'll realize it. I honestly think that because she won, because her hair wasn't ripped out and she wasn't beaten by a crowd that she'll be more likely to throw a punch faster the next time. She'll make excuses she was defending her friend. She'll find a reason for the violence and the use of it. She'll forget she was trying to score a goal, not defend someone's honor. And this cycle will continue. This insanity will proceed to move forward with very little checking.

The Misconstrued Perception of Facebook

I have had a hell of a start to my new year. First, my grandmother dies unexpectedly at the age of 74...almost a year to the date of when her mother, who was 94, passed away. I live 3000 miles away from my family and hadn't seen granny since my nana's funeral. So besides the demon's that I'm personally dealing with there...there's also the small implication of finding out from my friend, as opposed to my parent's, that my grandmother passed. How, do you wonder aloud, is that possible? Facebook. My younger brother posted "RIP Granny" on his facebook page which showed up on my friend's page who I happened to call after work that particular day. It was a rather short phone call before I called my parent's house in CT only to find out, in better detail, what had happened. My 22 year old brother was not alone - apparently my 29 year old cousin, also male, did the same exact thing. Both were asked by one of my aunt's to immediately take it down, both felt insulted and left it on their page. I am still dealing with the death of my grandmother - and have found it hard to explain to my younger brother...and ultimately my father, why he was in the wrong.

And now it's Saturday, February 12, 2011. One month after I flew back to Maryland to say good-bye to my grandmother. Typical Saturday morning - I'm checking out my personal email and facebook, catching up with what's going on, and that same male cousin who posted a comment on my granny's death BEFORE everyone knew about it posted the message "rushing to york hospital". His father has been sick for a while...but nothing that needs to be rushed. At least not that I'm aware of...so panic sets in. This horror that I'm going to find out tragic news again via Facebook has me calling home without realizing I'm dialing the numbers. My uncle is in ICU with a bleeding brain. Well, I believe they've stopped the bleeding. And they're not sure if the left side of his body will remain paralyzed or if it's temporary that with physical therapy, can be helped. Should I be happy that by checking the internet first, I found out my uncle is gravely ill. My parents were waiting until 6pm to tell me (as opposed to when I called at 5) that my grandmother died because they knew I would be at work and wanted me to be in a place where I wouldn't have to drive. Considering I bawled the entire way home while having moments of hyperventilating, probably good instincts on my parents. Unfortunately, technology squashed their intentions...damnit.

I read the message on Facebook a few hours after it was posted. My mom had received the information on my uncle about 20 minutes before I called. Information moves fast. Her brother is terribly ill and I gave her no time to process what she learned because I had no information and felt like I was behind on what was happening. Once upon a time, I wouldn't have been upset that I wasn't in the immediate loop. My parents would have told me when they could tell me and I would have inevitably found out what was going on. This curse of finding out bad news in the most informal way is weighing. People take for granted just what they write and how they write it. These are family members I've known for 28 years. Why do I want to find out on a generic message board that something terrible has happened? I don't. I really, really don't.

"With great power comes great responsibility"

Facebook isn't a nuclear weapon. Twitter will not be curing cancer and blogs, as much as they may try, will not be knocking down buildings. However, people flock to these messaging mediums to "express" their innermost feelings or private thoughts with little regard to the other people it effects. What is it in our psych that makes us tell everyone we know at once very intense information? What happened to the phone call? or at least an individual email or letter? Spiderman's uncle was right - the information that we know, especially private or family sensitive, is a responsibility. Gone are the days of letting those closest know first. Now it's the simplicity of sending out information or the need for a response that pushes us, or in my case, others, to announce everything.

In some ways, posting this is no different from what my cousin and brother did. I'm announcing my grief and frustration to strangers and acquaintances because of my disdain for the instant message. My only difference is my grandmother has passed and information on my uncle's condition has been relayed to his siblings BEFORE this blog will ever post. How it ought to be. How we should be taught to use computer mediated communication...

Fox News - Unfair and Unbalanced - Essay #2

Written for: Social Dynamics of Communication Technology 509-A2, Gonzaga University, Dr. Alex Kuskis
Essay #2 - February 11, 2011

Recently, I had the pleasure of watching "Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism", directed by Robert Greenwald (2004). The documentary was created to showcase how Fox News delivers their broadcasts. Though their slogan claims "Fair and Balanced" news, their objectivity and partiality for most things republican seeps through rather loudly. The abuse of information and repeat disrespect to guest speakers and officials shows a need for stronger regulations in regards to distributing the news. Opinions pawned off as facts, (i.e. Fox news reporters use of the phrase "some people say", as opposed to saying "we at Fox think" or "I believe" which is prominent throughout the Greenwald's film) should be eliminated from television and a refocus on delivering information adhered to. Unfortunately, since this will not occur anytime soon, I propose that Fox News change their slogan to a more appropriate description as to convey to the public exactly the type of information they are receiving.

The Fox News slogan, "Fair and Balanced" is a misleading statement delivered by the station. According to Webster's Online Dictionary(2011), the term fair means, "marked by impartiality and honesty : free from self-interest, prejudice, or favoritism". The term balanced means, "equality between the totals of the two sides of an account". There are multiple examples to choose from on Greenwald's documentary that contradict their statement based on the definitions of these words. Whether it's pulling Democratic guests who have a tendency to lean right on hot topics or belittling and degrading causes because they don't fall into what the GOP is currently petitioning (such as the war on Iraq), their reports can be considered biased. According to Terry McDermott (2010), "No reasonable person would sincerely deny that Fox has a bias favoring Republicans, and conservative Republicans especially. Even Fox used to admit as much. When he started the network, Ailes was straightforward in talking about his desire to redress what he saw as ideological bias in the mainstream media. He wanted to address the same “silent majority” his old boss Richard Nixon had sought to serve." With such strong examples to prove Fox News is not completely fair and balanced, one possible slogan change is "Fox News - Balancing Fairly Republican Opinions".

In a society that is fed information through multiple streams - internet websites, television newscasts (locally, nationally, internationally), radio, newspapers/magazines, word of mouth - it is important that "fair and balanced" news is delivered honestly. Fox News abuses this term and undoubtedly does so with little regard to what public perception is. Reviewing the examples listed previously (and acknowledging by this author that there are many more cases that could be analyzed, though recommends watching "Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism" to fully comprehend how extreme their reach is), my short argument remains that to truly deliver fair and balanced news, one must be impartial. Since Fox News refuses to be impartial, and have admitted to leaning right in the past, they should make the statement of what they stand for and stop lying to their viewers.

References:

Balanced. Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Retrieved February 11, 2011, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/balanced

Fair. Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Retrieved February 11, 2011, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fair

Greenwald, R. (Producer and Director). (2004) Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's war on journalism [Motion picture]. United States: The Disinformation Company.

McDermott, T. (2010). Dumb like a fox. Columbia Journalism Review, March/April 2010, 26-32.

Finding Love on the Internet - A Reversal in Personal Stance, Essay #1

Written for: Social Dynamics of Communication Technology 509-A2, Gonzaga University, Dr. Alex Kuskis
Essay #1 - January 27, 2011

I am in the middle of an experiment. As I write this, I am also creating an online dating profile for match.com. According to Wikipedia, Match.com currently has over 20 million users with a 49/51 male to female ratio in more than 25 countries (retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Match.com). Match.com rates very high on different user-rated websites, including the number one spot on www.top10bestdatingsites.com.

"Online dating sites have revolutionized over the years and online singles dating has now become a popular dating choice for intelligent, professional single men and women seeking companionship, relationships and marriage. Online dating sites and singles sites have been modernized with a variety of fun tools for singles to use, creating excellent singles matches and subsequently resulting in much higher dating success rates. " (retrieved from http://www.top10bestdatingsites.com/).

I never found myself drawn to participating in online dating sites. First, I've been in monogamous relationships the majority of my adult life. Even as I fill out the multi-page questionnaire that has asked me everything from religious preference and current income to whether or not I want my potential suitor to be interested in participating in the same activities together, my boyfriend of five years is sound asleep in the other room. I met him in a bar through a mutual friend in downtown Seattle. My previous long term boyfriend I met in college - we were in the same dorm together freshman year and lasted for three and a half years. Second, when wanting to find a significant other, I've had the time to devote to meeting and establishing relationships by more traditional means. I've had relative success in bars and clubs, as well as through friends who have set me up. It was my understanding that the methods I use can be applied to everyone. I admit that I generalized/stereo-typed the American public.

However, I now realize that the Internet today is merely facilitating relationships much the same way that newspapers did in the personal ads over the last 3+ decades (Thurlow, p. 139). The added advantage now is that these relationships can be maintained online with visual tools (like photos or skype) which can help determine whether or not to continue in the interpersonal relationship. According to psychologist Patricia Wallace, men and women tend to form romantic relationships online because they do the following (Thurlow, 129-130):

1. Create the promise of future interaction - the feeling of anticipation chatting to someone online is/can be similar to seeing someone in real life.

2. Birds of a feather - with match.com, I was able to find people with similar interests pretty easily. I check boxed the things I like and others do the same. The ability to connect with "like-minded people" is a huge bonus that goes beyond the cliched "I like long walks on the beach and bubble baths".

3. Self esteem and humor - just because it's online, doesn't mean there aren't compliments and flirting. The sense of confidence that comes when someone talks about what they like about you translates both verbally and in written word.

4. Self-disclosure and intimacy - for those who choose to participate in more of a "blind date" situation - i.e. you don't know what the person looks like and they don't know your appearance, as well - solely basing your feelings on divulging your inner self can be a complete turn-on. You have a raw connection that is not based on the superficial features of a person. For those who choose more of a match.com setting, the ease of typing what you're feeling without the same sense of guilt or embarrassment that you have with a physical meeting helps to build the intimacy as if you were in a private room with the person.


As I get older and busier, and without knowing exactly what the future holds, I believe I now understand and accept why millions of people are drawn to the ease of online dating. During my college years, I believed that online dating was a desperate step. It was low self esteem and lack of options that drove people online. It turns out I was wrong. According to a study by Kim, Kwon, and Lee, "individuals with high self esteem are more likely to use Internet dating services than are those with low self esteem when they are highly involved in romantic behavior" (Kim, Kwon, Lee, 2009) . This study is based off of three characteristics - sociability, self esteem, and involvement and concludes that it is those who are more social with higher self esteem and involvement with outside activities who are more likely to use Internet dating services as a tool to find romance.

It took about 20 minutes to set up a free profile for match.com. The site is definitely thorough, to say the least, with multiple pages of questions and preferences to make sure they're "matching you" with similar people. When I finally viewed my "potential matches", at first I was a little jaded. Pictures of men I wasn't attracted to lasted about four pages (sets of 16, I believe) until there was finally an image I liked. And he was perfect. Good looking, athletic, musical, had a job....and it only took me 30 minutes to get from A to B - not bad for an evening in. Truth be told that if I found myself in a position of not having a significant other, using a site like match.com would no longer be an issue. In truth, getting to email and make connections with men by uploading a few images and talking via Internet makes it sound pretty easy.

According to stats on ehow.com, over 120,000 marriages occur every year due to initial online encounters (retrieved from www.ehow.com/facts_5451763_online-dating.html). With that type of statistic, it leads one to believe that online dating can be successful and just as fruitful as blind dating or being set up by friends. Deeper research can done on how those marriages workout or the amount of people satisfied with the online dating experiences. There's also the issue of individuals using online dating for negative gains - either personal fulfilment in lying about themselves to gain positive feedback, using the more romantic site for a "hook-up", as well as taking advantage of a person for monetary gain. These concerns are all viable questions when it comes to the deeper problems of identity on the Internet. However, with those issues aside, people still continue to use online dating as a tool to meet potential love matches and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.


References:

Balle, J. Facts on Online Dating. Retrieved from www.ehow.com/facts_5451763_online-dating.html

Kim, M., Kwon, K., Lee, M. (2009).Psychological Characteristics of Internet Dating Services: The Effect of Self-Esteem, Involvement, and Sociability on the Use of Internet Dating Services. Cyberpyschology & Behavior. volume 12, number 4. Retrieved from gonzaga's online library.

Match.com. Retrieved from www.en.wikipedia.org/match.com

Thurlow, C., Lengel, L., Tomic, A. (2004) Computer mediated communication: social interaction and the internet. London: Sage Publications

Top 10 Dating Sites. Retrieved from www.top10datingsites.com

Why Do We Care?

"Kendal is no longer in a relationship"

It's not true - but I could post it on various social media sites. I could technically end my relationship with my boyfriend of 4+ years in a matter of moments. We don't need to talk...I can just update my facebook status. He'll see it. All our mutual contacts would see it. It'd be messy and public but in the end, would still suck. But hey, at least all 356 people would know. It's not as cruel as tweeting it, right? ....

We have become a society so self-involved that making sure we do the added step of pouring salt into the wound has become a necessity of stating publically our independence. Cruelly, we've lost control of respect and an old fashioned ettiquete of self restraint that makes it nearly impossible to succumb to. We do it because others do it. We post because they post because we post. We've started a vivious cycle that will probably only evolve into an even more touchy feely senstive subject that I'll be dealing with into my 70's. I must say I'm not looking forward to posting things such as "Kendal is widowed" or "Kendal is on her death bed". I can only hope that I do to my facebook what I did to my myspace what I did to my friendster and opendiary...get the hell out and actually call my friends and relatives!

Tuesdays and Thursdays revisited.

Okay. Maybe I was a little too ambitious with my twice weekly writing experiment. I should write when it naturally comes to me. Like when I wrote down lyrics at 11:30pm on a school night about what should happen to my body when I die. Seriously. It is entirely possibly I ripped these lyrics off from an old Irish ballad - but hey, the mind wants what it wants. And, like I mentioned earlier, I miss just being creative.

I've been pretty busy with life lately. My boyfriend is going back for his MBA starting next week and I'm trying to get as much "us" time as possible. I've already been informed by him that this is going to consume a large majority of his life for the next 2+ years and that I should be prepared with all that entails (i.e - him being a crabby, pain in the you know what while I attempt to get the reassurance I need as a girlfriend on his one free day - Saturday). We live together and have been in coupledom since March 2006. But we both have pretty strong personalities (stubborn) and sometimes forget that the other has feelings and needs...

We'll see how it goes.

I managed to take the boot camp awesomeness I experienced in July with weight loss and added energy and drown it in a month plus of wine and cake consumption. So with last night's first soccer game of the season, I will be attempting to work out 5 days a week again. I have problems waking up first thing in the morning and my evenings are taken up with boyfriend time. However, muscle tone and stamina have just become a top priority again. Wish me luck.

My next topic will be on my search for an MBA program I want to attend and how I'll manage to take the GRE's and pass :-)

Tuesdays and Fridays

I need to write. It's an outlet that I love but have managed to surpress due to work, girlfriend duties, and any other time consuming habit that gets in my way. Ideally, I wouldn't write this during work (i.e. now) but rather before or after. Ideally. Lunch is good to write though, right? Right.

The goal is twice a week on something not dumb. We'll see how it goes. I'm keeping up another blog at www.threeladiesandjane.blogspot.com that you should check out if you randomly come across this. It's about my upcoming trip to England with two of my book club friends. I think it's interesting...but mostly because I'm writing it.

Alright, work time! Woot!

My heart hurts

Last year I worked for a dying construction and electrical company not knowing it's economic woes. I had been unemployed for the first time in my life and felt a desperation to have a job - any job - no matter what. So what if it was 45 minutes away in traffic at $12 an hour? So what if they didn't want to give overtime or health benefits? I needed it. They made me feel like another opportunity wouldn't come around and so I grabbed at it with all my might.

The first shock was when we were told we probably wouldn't get our paycheck on time. A day or so wasn't a big deal, I guessed. Last year was hard on everybody, I knew. So when the April 1st check came on the 2nd and the April 15th check on the 16th or 17th I was ok. But when the May 1st check never came...I was a little upset. Oh my employer talked a great game - it was the bank's fault. He was going to throw in his retirement to save the company (which would be a $20,000 loss to him, he would tell us in a desperate tone) but the bank refused, or wouldn't call him back, or would tell him the money was coming. And then the speech on May 13th, 2009 - how he was glad we were still there and how he wasn't giving up. He would get the money to pay us. He could have a better job, was asked to work for a company where he could be making so much money - but wanted this instead. Tomorrow he would pay us.

It's May 10th, 2010 and I have not recieved a dime of the $2400 he owes me. I've gone through Labor and Industries thinking this is the right way, the most appropriate way. I don't want more than what I'm owed...just the $12 an hour from pay periods April 11-24th, 25th - May 10th and May 11th - May 20th. Sure he messed with my unemployment claim - reporting to them I quit when he told me he would say it was a lay off. Four months of receiving letters stating "we may have overpaid you $1849.63 - please report why you feel we did not overpay." I had stress spots, anxiety, and tears. I have debt with a 16.9% interest rate. I would like to take that entire check and shove it straight at my CC - cutting it in half....you would think a year would be enough time.

L&I has over 1000 claims dating to 2009, I was told today. Because my claim didn't reach collections until March 25th, it is towards the bottom of the stack. I made my first L&I claim in July 2009. It took that long to process, inspect, approve, contact and file. They have 1 person handling the wage cases. How the hell is this an effecient system?

I'm tired. I'm tired of the stress of not having great credit and owing my cc, my dad and my boyfriend money a year later. I'm tired of being told one date by L&I reps and then another date. It is entirely possible this man can file for bankruptsy between now and whenever they can get to my claim and I'd have to start all over again because L&I has no authority over bankruptsy claims.

Who do I contact - my local government? - to suggest instead of cutting L&I employees, add them. There seem to be a lot of scumbag bosses who would prefer volunteers and think they can skip out on paying. I know there are a lot who went in over their heads...but the parting words from my former employer was to find a company that can babysit me and cater to my needs. He then went on to screw with my unemployment claim and tell them he had no knowledge of me working there as long as I did because it wasn't in the records. No, there need to be more agents in collections...people like him should be made to pay - all 8 of us - in full.

Happy Friday

For the first time in a long time, I'm writing lyrics again. Not happy lyrics, of course...but lyrics. It's a nice change.

Someone suggested I start blogging more about shows and cd's. I may just try that.

There will be fireworks in Seattle this year for the 4th of July...just goes to show the strength of local media and the passion of the masses - even in these economic times.

I'm going to the Sounders game tomorrow night and it's supposed to rain :-( I'll be needing a lot of hot cocoa and a garbage bag.

Our admin assistant put together a large Easter basket full of candy. I've already consumed a round Reese's peanut butter Easter egg and a flat Snicker's Easter egg. Oh marketing to consumers odd beliefs of Christianity. Explain how the death and ressurection of Christ and Bunnies and Peeps can be mixed together.

I'm not knocking it...I'm just saying - we live in an interesting world.

I love Beeker - http://http://mashable.com/2010/02/09/muppets-beakers-ballad/

Some Things I'll Never Understand

By nature, I'm competitive. I like to win, I hate to lose, and I will pout to get my way. I have my beliefs, I'll argue in favor of my beliefs, but I must admit I do like arguing in general. This is about as far as I can go. Whether or not you believe what I believe, right or wrong, I will not be taking you to the parking lot to "show you" the truth by a physical fight. I will not attack you, your family, your friends, your pets, relatives twice removed...just because you don't agree with my beliefs does not make you and all whom you associate with bad or evil. Even if what you say offends me (because that's another weakness I have, easily offended), I know there are some fights I really can't win - no matter how hard I argue and pout. So, can someone please explain to me how an Islamic extremist can get on a train and kill 39 people they don't know? And even further from my mind - a woman. As a female, I know that I can do anything a guy can do - work, play sports, hold intelligent conversations, etc. Does not mean I want to do EVERYTHING they can do. I would assume a more maternal instict would prevent this. But apparently suicide bomber is a position open to all.

I like what I believe in - but not to the point I would kill others to serve my message. How can a religion promote this? Say what you will about Christianity - but when two of our main rules are Thou Shall Not Kill and Thou Shall Not Make Wrongful Use of the Name God (such as killing in the name of God...I know, I know, history has shown differently people's misuse of the name God - maybe they missed that CCD class?) you'd like to think that a positive message could be found in all religions and people would promote that. Why is acceptance such a hard thing - or maybe not even as far as acceptance, but a tolerance. I'm simplifying it, I know. There are things in this world performed today based on religions that still hold many as slaves...but still, I will never understand killing in the name of God.

If you're winning by 10...

I've been playing soccer since I was 5 years old. The teams I've been on have ranged from the good, the bad, and the ugly. My Sunday night team plays in a C league that's a little too good for us (this is an ugly). We consistently lose by 5 or more goals and have decided it would be in our best interest to move down a league. Which is great for next season....but does not help our current situation.

My advice - you're an awesome team and you know it (because you're winning by at least 6 in the first half). It is not necessary to show boat. Especially at 10:10pm on Sunday night when I need to go into work early the next morning. So, if you're the goalie and you take the ball yourself in the 2nd half when you're winning by 10 and have the audacity to swagger up to me like a tool...do not be surprised when my leg makes contact with your in step. Intentionally. Also, you'll know you're a dog if the referee overlooks my obvious foul. Even he knows you're a prat. As well as your team mates....

In conclusion, if you're winning by 10, show some class. It's a somewhat lost art - but if you're that good, you should get some.

~K